My dear daughter,
We should talk about some of the first difficulties you might encounter in interpersonal relations.
As any other good ape species, we are status driven.
Status determines our place in the social structure, which is something very important in ape groups.
People spend most of their time trying to improve their status or signal their status to other people.
Most people seek money to signal better status. After all basic needs are met and there are no worries about the future, they don’t want happiness. Happiness is just the reward mechanism in the brain to support survival. People want to signal better status, even if it causes them suffering.
Some people will go through deprivation so they can afford better status-signaling items. Meaning they will not live according to their earnings, they will purchase assets meant for the very rich even if it means living in worse conditions or drowning in debt.
In order to maintain status, some people might resort to violence. Mostly they will just try to somehow diminish whoever is threatening their status.
And status-seeking people feel threatened by almost anything or anyone. If they think you are more beautiful, slim, intelligent, funny or skilled in anything, they will feel threatened. Even if you clearly state a lack of interest in affecting their status.
Dignity is not a problem. They will use sex or will try to sell themselves or betray anyone if there is a chance of gaining status. They will try to cover those not so honorable behaviors and to look like saints – status is all about appearance and has little to do with content.
Among apes, status determines who gets food first, who gets to choose sexual mates first, who has to endure humiliation and other undesirable behaviors. Who can have offspring in the group and who can’t. Who gets to enter the group and benefit from the relative security and who gets left behind.
As intelligent apes, you would think humankind would have grown beyond all that sometime during the last 20,000 years, but here we are in a capitalist, consumerism-driven society which is all about status and selfish behavior.
There is cooperation, of course, lots of it. Cooperation is an important evolutionary trait. Cooperative groups have better chances of survival. We should focus on global cooperation, for it is our only hope against a new civilization collapse.
Love,
Dad
Aspergers Dad 