My dear daughter,
I was training karate at the playground the very night you were born. Your mother called my mobile to tell me her water had broken.
I trained so hard that day I partially ripped the supraspinatus and the subscapularis tendons on my right shoulder.
I was lucky I didn’t tore them apart completely, I would be unable to lift my arm.
I just endured the goddamn pain for the next 6 months; I couldn’t risk having to immobilize my arm at the time in my life I needed it the most. Especially with your mother being so anxious and emotional. Nothing was going to prevent me from holding my daughter.
I was doubly stupid, actually. First for hurting myself. Second because I didn’t seek medical aid at the first opportunity I had. It was a serious lesion and it could have gotten worse, to the point I would require surgery and a long recovery time.
Fortunately most of the pain is gone now and I might make a full recovery with therapy. I should refrain from lifting a sword with that arm for the time being, though.
So, sometimes men or Asperger’s fathers may look quizzically quiet, calm and lacking prolixity regarding their feelings, but they deal with their feelings by ripping their own tendons apart.
Love,
Dad
Aspergers Dad 