My dear daughter,
A good thing happened today.
I went to physiotherapy for my shoulder. They had all kinds of therapy in this clinic, including support for children with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
While I was waiting to be evaluated, there was this group of 4 mothers of autistic kids waiting for their sessions to finish. They were talking about all kinds of problems they face daily: prejudices, obstacles and offensive comments they hear from ignorant people. They had to take their sons to therapy sessions every single day and I could notice some of them were struggling financially, seeking help wherever they could find. I believe not all of them could work, since they had to dedicate most of their time to their children.
After a while I mustered courage and spoke to them. I simply said I was a high functioning autist. One of the mothers immediately started crying, she said she got emotional meeting people like me because it gave her hope her son could have a life as normal as possible.
I tried to explain that autism comes in a broad spectrum and no two autistic people were the same. I didn’t want to give them false hopes. But I also stated autists feel and think like everybody else, but sometimes the world is just too much and we need our alone time, time to indulge in our peculiar interests, and that we had perks and mannerisms to deal with anxiety, most like everybody else, except different. I should have talked more about how difficult it is to perceive emotions sometimes, and that it’s best if things are clearly expressed to us in words, like written rules.
I made sure to emphasize what they were doing for their kids, since a young age, was fundamental to their development. They could consider themselves enlightened, caring mothers.
I told them about Eliane, how she helped me and encouraged me to seek treatment, and how psychiatric help was important in dealing with OCD, just as behavioral psychotherapy was key in improving my relations with others, especially with Eliane and my parents.
I think they were glad and relieved to speak with me. I didn’t talk much about my accomplishments, such as learning languages, finishing college or getting a good job, because I really don’t know about their son’s capacities. But they were really full of hope when I mentioned I was married and had a beautiful baby girl. That’s also more important in my life than jobs or college diplomas.
I got the chance to meet some of their sons as they came out of their sessions. They were around 2-3 years old, and they were perfectly fine and happy little boys. It seemed they just had a little difficulty communicating with words, but they were affectionate with their moms and very expressive about their feelings. And that’s what really matters. They are loved. I think they will do just fine.
Love,
Dad
Aspergers Dad 