My dear daughter,
I came across this really good meme today, which is actually a quote, allegedly by Anne Hegerty. She says “People say ‘you suffer from Asperger’s’ – no. I have Asperger’s, I suffer from idiots.”
I have to admit, it’s difficult to keep these letters updated during weekends and holidays. But that is because I prefer to spend as much time as I can with you. So I don’t have a problem getting behind on those occasions.
So, my gaming addiction!
After I quit World of Warcraft, I needed some kind of immersive 3d environment to act as oxycodone. So I joined Second Life. It was already on decline at the time, but they were actually implementing new features, like the ability to import any kind of 3d meshes, and the Sci-Fi roleplaying community was strong and has remained strong till today.
It was because of Second Life that I started learning 3d design, and later programming. It was my doorway to computer programming. Their language, LSL, is said to be very similar to JavaScript. I’ll have to take their word on it, I never learned JavaScript. But I practically learned LSL in 90 minutes. All the logic was very natural to me.
I still program to this day in LSL, and took on learning Python, which is a very useful programming language.
I’ve met some nice people in the Star Trek groups of Second Life and I’m friends with them even today, about 10 years after joining the community. Of course there were some horrible people (they are everywhere), but I focus on the good ones.
And that’s where I have met my good friend Dustin. He is 41 years old, but he has CHARGE Syndrome, it’s a genetic disease that causes several health and formation issues in fetuses. He is a survivor, most carriers of the syndrome succumb during childhood.
Because of it, he has a peculiar mind. Sometimes he acts very maturely, other times he thinks and behaves like a child. Some behaviors are similar to those of Asperger’s Syndrome, and it brought him some comfort to have this identification with me. We also share several interests, like Star Trek, Klingons, Star Wars, dinosaurs, dragons, Elvis Presley, Beatles, Japanese Tokusatsu characters, He-Man, Zelda, Thundercats – the list goes on. Our personalities are also not so different. Some people believed I had “adopted” him out of pity or something, but I actually enjoy his company as a friend. I appreciate the fact that he is a very honest person, a survivor and someone who values the qualities of life over its setbacks.
You met during his birthday last month; we had a Skype call and you were in my lap. You seem to have liked him. He’s a nice person.
It would appear Dustin’s father abandoned his mother right after birth. They already had a daughter with the same syndrome. According to Dustin, he was also violent and on at least one occasion hit Dustin with drumsticks.
I think his childhood and teen years were complicated. It appears his mother tried to have him study at a regular school, where Dustin got severely bullied.
I suspect his mother lost custody of him at some point, because when we met he lived most of the time with his “aunt” Reggi; he later revealed she wasn’t a relative, but a friend to his family. She might be an appointed guardian. Reggi brought Dustin to this farm where he has contact with horses, perhaps as a form of therapy. At the farm he also had more contact with other people, even if reluctantly.
Then he started spending weekends at his mother’s. Maybe they were in the process of reunion, maybe she was claiming custody back.
Dustin spent too many hours on his computer back then, and he became obsessed with me, possibly because I was the only person to show interest in him and to present myself as his friend. He would stalk on my mother and my sister to try to discover when I was coming online to Second Life.
With time and patience and the help of his mother and aunt Reggi he overcame those obsessions. Then he started practicing hiking, kayaking and going for walks in the park with his dogs. His life improved a lot, he became less aggressive, less suspicious of strangers, more friendly, and lost weight. That was vital because he has a severe heart condition which already got him to the surgery table 2 or 3 times.
He also had brain surgery to place a cochlear implant which greatly improved his hearing. It appears the procedure was offered by an American University.
His sister is a few years older but her health, unfortunately, seems to be more precarious. She frequently gets admitted to hospitals and spends lots of time in them.
Nowadays me and Dustin talk more on gmail chat. We used to talk and play together on Playstation 4 too. But I have stopped playing and he uses it now just to watch TV shows on Netflix – he likes Supernatural and Law and Order.
We still talk every now and then on Skype or Google video chat. I planned on visiting him last year, but something more important came up, which is you. I hope we can still visit him in the future, all of us together.
Love,
Dad
Aspergers Dad 