My dear daughter,
Let’s have a practical lesson.
Group interaction among humans is scarily similar to other primates interactions.
The most extrovert and outspoken will try to assume lead roles. They try to make others conform to their wishes through charisma or fear, mostly. They try to manipulate the whole group in order to beat a non-conformist into submission.
It sucks because being an extrovert or outspoken doesn’t necessarily mean being the smartest or fittest to lead.
Some people will try to cling to the leader to benefit from his or her status, obtaining privileges in relation to the rest of the group.
It’s natural for smaller groups to form between people sharing common traits or interests.
Group members compete among themselves and unite against outsiders. An outsider has to go through hell to get approved by a group.
In-group competition can be savage, to the point it’s no longer interesting to remain in a group. But people endure because they are too afraid to be left outside, alone. It’s the fear of missing out. They think being in the group outweighs the suffering and the risk of being outside.
Females commonly compete to exert influence on other females and to be the preferred mate for the leader or other males of high status. Of course that kind of behavior is disastrous among intelligent apes, it diminishes females and limits their role to procreation. Don’t ever let that happen to you.
Human females should strive to unite and gain respect for being their own woman, not someone else’s companion. There are thousands of years of dominance to overcome.
Group leaders and their friends are always afraid of losing power, status or influence. It’s a golden rule: if one has power, one is afraid of losing it, however mediocre that power may be.
They will be afraid of your intelligence, looks, height – they will try to use your qualities against you and make you feel awkward for being you. Even if you have no interest in the ruling group at all. They will try to make you feel an outsider, even if their group is stupid and ridiculous.
It may seem completely frivolous by any standards, but we are programmed to get affected by these mischievous and stingy attacks. The important thing is to not let it show; don’t give them the taste of seeing you distressed. They will eat themselves from the inside out if it appears they have no impact on you whatsoever.
During most of your life you will be greatly affected by group pressure. A solid group of trustworthy friends is a blessing. Most of the group pressure you will encounter will come from crappy people.
They will use social networks as a weapon as well. They will be addicted to them like almost everyone else and they will demand that other members of the group waste as much time connected, consuming terabytes of useless information and keeping up with every trivial detail of other people’s lives.
You need not fall for any of that. Even if they are few, I am sure you will have wonderful friends. Good friends are hard to come by and it’s quality that matters. You have an addicting smile and a sweet laugh. You are smart and observant.
Sometimes school years can be tough, but it gets better. Especially for smart people like you. Life is always much bigger than petty school social dynamics. The world is filled with wonderful people – probably millions of them going through the same difficulties as you, waiting to meet someone like you.
And you will always have your mom and dad.
Love,
Dad
Aspergers Dad 