My dear daughter,
Human lives are too short compared with geologic eras, with the planet’s age, with the age of the solar system or the age of the universe.
Which is why I find it of great advantage to not believe in any form of afterlife, soul, reincarnation, duality or whatever.
It puts all of our problems in perspective and leaves me nothing to worry about when my life ends, just as I didn’t worry when I wasn’t yet born.
Still, I do worry. I try to think of my existence more in terms of knowledge, energy and genes than in terms of my current configuration of cells.
For instance, you have inherited half of your genes from me. Half of your genes are identical to mine and it’s very likely they will outlive me. All the energy your mother and I spend raising you will increase your chances of outliving us. And all the knowledge we can spare are little pieces of our minds which will remain when our current particle configuration is no more.
This may seem insubstantial, far-fetched, too philosophical or uncomforting, but I bring you some concrete implications: I have come to think of my life-span more in terms of generations than a single, individual life.
For example, your mother and I have a comfortable life in this city and in this country. We could simply stay here and raise you more or less like we were raised and you would probably have a life similar to ours, with the same luxuries but also the same worries and struggles.
But I wouldn’t mind moving to a different country, to have a lower living standard, or having to work in areas some would find less noble, if it meant giving you better education, better relations and better opportunities in your adult life. I could easily make ends meet if it meant a future where you wouldn’t have to worry about gender violence, discrimination, obscurantism and religious zealotry. I wouldn’t mind living a less materially comfortable life if you could have more agency over your own destiny, in a place where you didn’t have to constantly worry about urban violence, or becoming miserable because you lost your job.
I find comfort in thinking you could start a whole new family branch (if you chose to) in a whole new place, and that they would be able to live a more fruitful and fulfilling life. They would all carry parts of me and your mother wherever they went.
Love,
Dad
Aspergers Dad 